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10
things you'd hate
about John Wesley
1.
Despotism Even Wesley's own preachers called him "Pope
John". He ruled his followers like an enlightened despot, and
his beloved brother Charles plotted to "break his power".
John expected every Methodist society to follow his rules like a
McDonald's franchise, and took personal charge over every member's
private life, expelling them for laziness or selling spirits.
2. Superstition He saw rain storms as God's punishment on him
or the Devil's attack. He made decisions by opening the Bible
at random for God's guidance, and even decided whether to marry by
pulling bits of paper out of a hat.
3. Copyright Wesley was a plagiarist and pseudepigrapher
he passed off other people's writings as his own and his own as other
people's. He got into trouble for ripping off an anti-American
tract of Dr Johnson's. And he attacked a book by Toplady (of
"Rock of Ages" fame) by publishing a cheap caricature of it at
the same time under Toplady's name. Toplady denounced him as a
common crook worthy of deportation to America.
4. Grief He didn't believe in it, as Christians should be
happy when someone goes to heaven. "I believe the death of
your children is a great instance of the goodness of God towards
you", he told his sister. "You have often mentioned to
me how much of your time they took up. Now that time is restored
to you, and you have nothing to do but serve the Lord without
carefulness and without distraction."
5. Drink He wasn't against alcohol, actually, unlike later
Methodists. While he forbade spirits, he loved wine and beer,
published home brewing tips and campaigned for real ale. He also
allowed tobacco for medicinal purposes. But he discouraged
Methodists from drinking tea, being a waste of time and money.
6. Charismania Wesley often reduced his hearers to ecstatic
convulsions, screams and groans, fainting, beating the ground and
uncontrollable laughter. He claimed exorcisms and healings, and once
thought he might have raised the dead. You might like that kind of
thing or you might not.
7. Narrowness After his evangelical conversion, he considered
all non-evangelicals "almost Christians". Though one of
the most devout believers alive before then, he had been "an heir
of hell". In later years he mellowed a lot.
8. Women Despite great services to the role of women in
church, even his greatest admirers admitted that Wesley had "an
inexcusable weakness" for the prettily devout. Nothing
sinister, but as a married man, his gushing and intimate letters to his
circle of young female acolytes was neither good matrimony nor good
pastoring. And his treatment of a quasi-fiancι in Georgia led to
him jumping parole and fleeing the state at night.
9. Perfection Throughout his life, Wesley preached the
thoroughly eccentric doctrine that Christians can be perfect, full of
love and without sin. Later he came to see it as a miraculous
sudden change, like salvation, though he was as surprised as anyone when
Methodists started to claim it had happened.
10. Plain-speaking Wesley believed in the importance of
pointing out others' errors and faults with utter candour. As
"one of the greatest instances of friendship", he told an old
friend whose only child was dying that she was the most spoiled he had
ever seen. "Happy would it be for both her and you if God
would speedily take her to himself!" |
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10
things John Wesley'd
hate about you
1. Money Wesley said that no
true Christian kept any more than the basic "necessaries of
life". He himself gave away up to £1,400 a year, living on
£30: a worker's wage. Those who buy luxuries are "embezzling
their Lord's goods, corrupting their own souls and robbing the
poor".
2. Laughter Wesley did not much approve of laughter. He
rebuked one of his preachers for being willing to "break a jest,
and laugh at it heartily", and complained that even George
Whitefield's conversation was "often mixed with needless
laughter".
3. Laxity Wesley would be shocked by the lax standards of
Christians today. He expected men and women to sit separately in
church. To start a morning meeting after 5am was "giving
place to the Devil". He expelled members for swearing and for
playing football on Sunday.
4. Secular music Wesley didn't think Christians should listen
to secular songs, and certainly not dance to them. One of his
mining converts smashed up his fiddle when he became a Methodist.
Wesley also had grave doubts about opera.
5. Clothes Wesley was very unhappy about Methodists wearing
anything expensive, frilly or fashionable, and later regretted not
prescribing a uniform for them. On the other hand, he insisted
that they be as smart as possible: "Let none ever see a ragged
Methodist". Just about the last nice thing he ever said to
his wife was, "I still love you for your uncommon neatness."
6. Marriage Spouses are far too indulgent on each other for
Wesley's liking. He told his travelling preachers that those with
wives or families should keep going "as if they had none",
just as he did himself. He told his wife that he was forbidden to
"laugh or trifle a moment when with you". His theory of
matrimony (expounded on a bad day, admittedly) was "You should have
given me a carte blanche. You should have said, 'Bid me do
anything, everything'."
7. Children Parents are far too indulgent on children too.
In his Methodist school the timetable was from 4am to 8pm, with
religious and physical exercises, including fasting, but no play:
"He that plays when he is a child, shall play when he is a
man". When he married, he planned to dump any children he had
there, permanently.
8. Foolishness during sleep If you've passed all Wesley's
tests so far, do your hours of sleep also honour God sufficiently?
"Is there no vanity or folly in your dreams? o temptation
that almost overcomes you? And are you then as sensible of the
presence of God and as full of prayer as when you are waking?"
9. Non-Methodism Wesley dismissed almost all other
Christian groups. Non-Methodists in the Church of England he
called 'almost Christians', non-conformist Protestant churches were in
indefensible error and as for Catholics, "No Government ought to
tolerate men of the Roman Catholic persuasion".
10. Methodism And finally, if you go to a Methodist church,
you're definitely in trouble. Wesley insisted that all his
followers always attend Anglican parish services, and never talk about
having their own "ministers" or "churches".
"When the Methodists leave the Church, God will leave them." |
